Tell Your Story, Share your Strengths

About twenty years ago a friend of mine told me that I make the best of a situation. Within one year, I graduated with a masters degree, moved to Massachusetts, got married, and had a baby girl born with cranifacial abnormality and then later diagnosed with hearing loss. Twenty-three months later my son was born with hearing loss as well. My friend was referring to how I gave up a lucrative career to care for the needs of my children, and how I started a social network called Parent Connection for families of aural/oral deaf and hard of hearing children. I ran in constant motion, attending to my kids needs, their frequent medical and audiology appointments, writing and coordinating newsletters, family events and workshops for parents in the social network that started before my daughter’s second birthday party. I had taken on a part time job teaching at community college by year three. At the time, I didn’t realize how much energy young mothers have! The bliss of parenting, locamotion style, and not letting anything slow or come to an end. I didn’t see burn out coming either. I felt so much grief, in my role as parent dedicated to the needs of my children and for the loss of a career and personal journey I had once envisioned. I always felt optimistic about my children’s future and strong in my belief in listening and spoken language. No one could recognize my grief, since I remained outwardly happy and clearly optimistic. I kept working none the less. I was clearly determined to try anything in search of knowledge that helped me raise socially and emotionally well adjusted children.

Back then we used LAN lines; my Intenet was dial up and social media was non existant. Play groups were created by connecting with strangers I met at play grounds. I left voice messages on portable anwering machines and returned calls often came a day or two later. After putting the kids to bed precisely at 8pm every night, I would enter my quiet, dimly lit den and call parents of children who were deaf or hard of hearing. For several hours every night, Sunday through Thursday, I listened to their stories. A mass of information came flooding into my ears and to my brain about hearing aids, FM systems, techology trouble shooting, school disability services, doctors, and social emotional needs of children. No parent had time to care for their own well being. We all focused on our children and families.

Raising two childern with hearing, learning, and vision disabilities taught me so much about myself. I really didn’t know whom I was back then. I had all these wonderful skills when I graduated and got married, but I never took the time to explore my true self and authenticity. By the 8th year of parenting and caring for my children, I had worked countless, exhausting hours at home and in part time positions. I was tired. I felt burn out. So, I quite my job at the college (international programs/economic development) and made a conscious decision to incorporate a new venture: Partners for A Greater Voice (inspired by my childern, Parents Connection, and that job at the college). I could manage this non-profit organization from the comfort of my cozy den, and work around the needs of my family. Making the world a greater place for children with hearing loss in a developing country became my passion. I also knew I had to take a few things off my plate, to allow for breathing space and less stress. I incorporated Parent Connection as the Massachusetts Chapter of Alexander Graham Bell Association, remaining President for four years until I found new leadership. I gave up competitive tennis that had been crushing my body for years and I started yoga.

I am so very grateful for those parents who stayed up late hours on many nights telling me their stories. In the years of mothering children with disabilities, parents confided in me, trusted me, shared their deepest fears and worries. They taught me about love and marriage, about IEP team meetings and mainstream education for children with hearing loss. Listening to their stories not only helped me prepare my children for their adult, independent life, but also boosted and enriched my purpose driven life. I continue to learn from parents all over the world. My journey through 1000 parents has been inspirational. In truth, parents are the backbone in my resilience training, my telescope into my children’s future, my friends, my teachers, and my therapists. I hear humility and forgiveness in their stories. I witness their bravery and perseverance. I soak in their perspective. Leadership and teawork swirl around as I meet parents engaged in advocacy work, counseling, habilitation or legislative action.

I did make the best of my situation and without even knowing it sometimes. I have climbed around, under, and over walls to find a solution to a problem.  I am filled with optimism, hope and love of learning that drives my interest in the field of aural education. I put my strongest strengths of creativity and curiosity into practice by creating Parent Connection and Greater Voice international initiatives because I enjoy exploration and new experiences.  I relish in creating programming and find ways to adapt knowledge and content to the needs of teachers and parents living in low resource communities.  I have courage, as many parents often discover from their own journeys.

To all Parents: Take time to settle your mind and reflect on your experience. Breathe a moment of happiness into your lungs, and explore your authentic story. Listen within your heart to identify your most powerful strengths. Share any one of your many stories using positive language. Stories connect people, provide perspective, and provide an informal education to everyone who listens. Stories also help to define our true selves (journal it!), guide us to problem solve, and help us parent effectively.

written by Joanne Travers, Founder/Director of Parents for A Greater Voice, Inc.  

Information from this article should be cited/referenced as: “Partners for A Greater Voice, Inc. Content derived from Essential Programs to Coach and Empower Caregivers (2016). Ipswich, Massachusetts U.S.A. www.greatervoice.com”