The Social-Emotional Development
Prepared by Eleanor Jones, Teacher of the Deaf
for Partners for A Greater Voice
Post Office Box 734, Ipswich, Massachusetts 01938 U.S.A.
www.greatervoice.com
The social-emotional development of a child begins at birth or, as some research says, in the womb. Parents’ first contact with their baby begins when they first hold him, look at him, and say how beautiful he is and how much they love him. The baby knows and feels when he is loved. As he grows, he begins to understand parents’ facial expressions and words. The more positive the words and expressions are, the more positive the baby will feel. It may take longer for a child with a hearing loss to understand meanings and expressions, but there is no reason that the child can’t succeed.
Parents can help a child learn to be polite from an early age. They can give him jobs appropriate for his age within the family. His gender and hearing loss should not be issues. Every child in a family should be treated equally and expectations should be based on age and development level. A child’s development won’t always go smoothly or be easy but it progresses continuously. One must be patient.
Preschool-age Children
Preschool-age children are concerned with themselves. They may play at the same time, side by side, but not interact with each other. They are often very possessive of their toys and disinclined to share. Teachers can affirm children’s positive behavior by saying, “I like the way you are playing together,” or “I like the way you cleaned up.” Teachers can encourage children to share, to be polite, and to use phrases such as “Thank you,” Yes, please,” “May I have…?” “No, thank you.”
Social-emotional issues arise in a classroom throughout the day. Teachers should be prepared to use them as opportunities to demonstrate positive behaviors and to promote meaningful interactions in class. They can praise children for good behavior by saying, “I like the way you are working,” “I’m glad you’re listening,” “I’m happy that you are watching,” etc. By emphasizing positive behavior, teachers help to build children’s self-esteem.
Kindergarten-age Children
Kindergarteners should know and use, “Please,” “Thank you,” “May I have…?” “You’re welcome,” and, “No, thank you.” They begin to play socially but still need help sharing. Feelings will get hurt. Teachers can acknowledge children’s feelings by saying, “I see that you are feeling _________ (happy, mad, sad, angry, etc.). It’s okay to feel that way.” Children need to learn to use words, not their hands, to express angry or negative feelings.
When one child hurts another child’s feelings, teachers can help the hurt child to express how he feels by using statements like, “I feel ________ when you _____.” Parents and teachers continually teach children how to get along with each other.
3rd and 4th Graders
At the ages of eight and nine, children’s feelings are hurt easily when they feel ignored, left out, or talked about. All children want to belong. They need opportunities to participate in group activities and demonstrate what they can do. In these activities, they also can develop their talents and skills. They may become involved in team or individual sports, music activities, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, cooking, sewing, arts and crafts, dance, photography, board games, etc. Participating in plays, musical events, skits, and comedy at school assemblies offers opportunities to perform in front of their peers and build self-esteem and self-confidence.
Good News bulletin boards offer opportunities for teachers to display children’s work. Teachers can reward children by featuring pictures, medals, and news about childrens’ families, friends, or activities. Teachers can change the bulletin board content frequently to represent good news from all the children. Choosing a student of the week can be an incentive for the students to be polite and cooperative.
7th and 8th Graders
At this age, hormones are in full swing. Boys and girls are concerned with how they look and how they perform before their peers. Group activities are important. After school activities, such as newspaper clubs, art, dance, chess, and crafts clubs offer children opportunities to be together. Teachers and parents can help children to participate in community service as a group. Suggested activities include cleaning around the school or at a neighbor’s house, painting, carpentry work, cleaning a park, collecting food, etc. Children will take pride in their accomplishments and share a sense of community. The group activities encourage children to treat each other and their community with respect.
At this age, students can contribute to their community by participating in a student council. Students can meet weekly or monthly to plan events or make decisions for their classmates. The students can write and present speeches about why they want to be student council president. They can hold other positions of responsibility such as council member, treasurer, and secretary.
Codes of conduct need to be established for the entire school. The rules may be written using age-appropriate language but they should be consistent across grades. Each month, a different rule or standard of conduct can be emphasized, such as respect, positive attitude, generosity, kindness, cooperation, compassion, teamwork, perseverance, friendship, or trust.
Mentoring Students
Staff members can volunteer to mentor students at the older levels. The school psychologist can match students to staff members. Mentors and students can write notes to each other, go out for a snack or lunch, or just find time together to talk. They can develop a close relationship over a period of time, and the mentor can reinforce positive behavior and help the child utilize effective problem-solving techniques. Anyone working at the school can be a mentor. Time should be planned for all mentors and students to meet together, even if it is only for fifteen or twenty minutes a few times a year.
Some Suggested Teaching Strategies
Teachers can help children to develop effective problem-solving skills from an early age. When children practice effective problem-solving skills, they contribute to good relationships among their peers and a positive classroom environment. The Second Step program, now used in many American elementary schools, offers a five-step guide that teachers and children can use to solve problems.
In the first step, the child identifies the problem. To help the child, the teacher can:
- observe facial, body, and situational cues
- help the child find words to express how he feels.
In the second step, the child figures out how to manage the problem. To help the child, the teacher can:
- brainstorm different ways that the child can manage the problem
- offer feedback to the child’s ideas.
In the third step, the child explores possible outcomes to the brainstormed solutions. To help the child, the teacher can:
- evaluate issues of fairness and safety.
In the fourth step, the child chooses an idea and uses it.
In the fifth step, the child evaluates whether the solution worked or what he can do if it did not work. To help the child, the teacher can:
- determine whether the situation is resolved
- suggest a different strategy for next time
The second step, “What Can I Do?” helps children to generate possible solutions to the problem. Teachers can create classroom activities or exercises about problem-solving and help the children apply the skills to real situations. The teacher can say, “That’s one idea. Who has another idea?” Then she can ask, “What might happen,” for each of the suggested ideas.
It is good for the children to talk aloud through the five steps. The steps can be printed on a chart and hung in the classroom. With younger children, teachers may name problems and read steps aloud while offering ideas to solve the problems. Older children should be able to read the steps and work in groups to solve sample problems. Role-plays with teachers or other students can help the children try out different solutions before they use them in real situations. Ongoing practice will help the children transfer their skills into everyday life.
When a child feels angry or sad, he may unable to focus on his school work. A teacher can help the student to re-focus by teaching him to—
- Explain how he feels
- Take three deep breaths
- Count slowly to five
- Say to himself, “calm down,” and think comforting thoughts
- Talk to an adult about the problem.
Teachers can help children grow up to be responsible citizens. They can encourage children’s interests in arts, sports, and theater and help them find activities that will increase their self-esteem. They can find the spark that makes each child special, and once they find it, nourish it and treasure it.
